Is there any real control over life?

Do you feel like you have control over your life? Are you wondering how to regain control? If there is such a thing as control? If being in control is worth the push? Or if there is perhaps no real control at all?

Any form of control over one's life is subjective. Everyone's perspective is different based on their own past experiences, current circumstances and aspirations for their future.

In certain cases, control works out great. Things fall into place the way intended. Life moves forward how we expect it to.

In other cases, it doesn't work that way. We can feel like our life is spinning out of control, that nothing is working the way we want it to. Which makes us want to control even more: the big things, the little things, and everything in between.

That's when the uphill struggle can begin. When everything feels like it's a hard slog and keeping a tight grip at all times seems the only way.

If you are reading my website and in particular this blog post, it's possible that you are looking for answers.

Perhaps you are considering the possibility of more.

Perhaps you've heard of the concept of allowing.

The polar opposite of control is allowing

Contrary to what you might think, allowing doesn't have to mean sitting back and doing nothing. It means taking the necessary steps and then letting things unfold.

That balance of taking action and then stepping back can be difficult to relate to for the control freak in us.

The very idea of letting go can seem like giving up. But if you're taking the steps you need to move toward your goal then you are doing what you can.

No matter how you try to control the outcome, once you've done what you can, there's not much more you can do.

So what can you do instead? How can you allow?

Once you've completed your action steps, you can:

  • Be proud of everything you just did

  • Take a break and recharge your batteries

  • Keep your mind occupied with something else

  • Practice being present

  • Trust the process

The very act of surrendering your control loosens the tight ball of energy around you so you feel a sense of relief. Some will say that this opens the door to new opportunities. That it creates space for new beginnings.

I can understand if you meet the concept of surrendering with resistance. I for one was never interested in it, until I got to a point where I thought there had to be more to it.

Let me leave you with these questions at least:

When you are tightly in control from morning to night, how do you feel?

How is your mood?

How is your appetite?

How are you sleeping?

Is there anything you'd like to change in the above?


If you have any questions that would help you decide if my coaching sessions are right for you, please send me an email.


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© 2019 - 2021 Leaning into feeling

I am not a doctor or a psychologist. The support and guidance I give in coaching sessions and in any coaching materials is not intended to replace a medical professional's medical care and treatment. My work with you cannot and will not diagnose or treat any medical problem. For any healthcare decisions, advice from a medical specialist should be sought out.